After the family fell apart and relocated to New Castle, I found myself drifting away from my father and my brothers and forming a whole new bond with my sister and my step-mother. It wasn’t like it was a hard thing for me to do, either, as I’d always been fond of both of them. I remember making the hour-long trip to New Castle and as soon as I walked in the door I’d be hit with the smell of my favorite dinners – homemade tacos, biscuits and gravy, homemade spaghetti… not all at the same time, of course. Rhonda would greet me with a smile and Devin and Terry wouldn’t be far behind.
For whatever reason, this was around the time they started treating me like the ‘golden boy.’ I’m not going to lie, it made me feel good. It also drove a wedge between me and my brothers, who saw this as clear favoritism towards my sister and me. I figured I was only getting preferential treatment because I’d recently moved out of the house, and was the only one that didn’t follow the family to New Castle. I think in Rhonda’s head, keeping me up on a pedestal would eventually bring me home. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it wouldn’t work, and even if I did, she wouldn’t listen.
When Rhonda, Dad, Shawn, and TJ moved to Florida, there was a big rift between us kids as we tried to decide where we’d end up. I knew from the start that I was never going to move, but I toyed with the idea just to keep everyone on his or her toes. I even went as far as making a list of the pros and cons of such a move, but in the end, the cons far outweighed the pros. Devin and Terry were pretty dead set on not relocating to the Sunshine State, so I knew that if everyone else left, I’d at least have them. In a bizarre turn of events, Jeff and Terry became friends and they invited him to share an apartment with them. Tyler decided that he wasn’t ready for Florida, just yet.
So half of the family leaves, and half of the family stays. Jeff and Terry’s friendship didn’t last long, and it wasn’t more than a couple of months before they were going their separate ways. Terry has a way of moving on pretty quickly, and that’s when he decided that he liked me best. Why wouldn’t he? I was there every single day, I played cards and board games with them, got them the best gifts at Christmas, and was great through Devin’s pregnancy.
Whether it was intentional or not, Devin and I became so close during this timeframe that I still think of her as one of my best friends. When Dad, Rhonda, and the rest of the mix returned, there were some obvious complications. I didn’t know how to pay attention to everyone all at once anymore, and I think that was when Terry and I started our slow drift apart. Although he’d never admit it, it hurt his feelings that I chose to knock on Rhonda’s door first, rather than his and Devin’s. It’s not that I was favoring her, but by this point they’d just had Alex and I wasn’t quite sure how to act around them. Plus, Rhonda had been gone almost a year and I missed her a great deal. In my head, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
As the years passed, Devin and Terry no longer found my judgmental banter flattering, and began talking amongst themselves about how my comments hurt their feelings. Devin, being responsible and approachable, tried to tell me that I was crossing a line. I asked Terry about it and he acted like he had no clue what I was talking about. So, I took it as a case of Devin overreacting.
Then along came Adam. Recently home from Texas, he’s been making weekly visits to Rhonda and Devin’s apartments. I usually miss his visits because of work, but he’s taking the chance to become Terry’s new favorite friend. Jeff and Shawn reveled in the fact that I was no longer Terry’s favorite, but I thought to myself that this would pass.
Terry quit his job, and then there was talk about moving to Bloomington. Who lives in Bloomington? You guessed it, the new it boy. For weeks they talked of this move and failed to mention that Adam would be moving in with them. That’s when my feelings got a little hurt. The honesty and trust we’d worked so hard to build has been flattened a little, and I’m not sure how to handle it. At first I attempted to guilt Devin into making a better decision, but she told me that would just drive us apart when this doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Today, Devin and Terry are coming home from Bloomington. They just found an apartment and I think have signed the lease. Rhonda is too afraid to show how hurt she is by this move, so I find her crying when no one else is looking. I’m hurt too, I’m losing Devin and not to mention Alex. He is such a great kid and now he’s going to forget all about me. I can’t justify why people intentionally bring painful situations on themselves and others, I just know that in the coming weeks I’m going to be losing a big part of what I care most about. And nowadays, when I care about so little, this one’s going to hurt.
